Aaron the super sleuth, it has nice ring to it. I have solved the mystery of belly button lint. Kiri often teases me about my belly button lint (She should be jealous because I get it and she doesn't). Why is belly button lint so sexist? Why do men get it and women don't? The way I discovered the answer may be disturbing to some, so stop reading now if you want. I simply shaved my belly button hair and presto! No lint. No lint teasing. I should warn, however, that a shorn belly can provide ample fuel for a volley of snide remarks.
I'm sure the hair doesn't attract the lint, because armpit lint is unheard of and nobody that I know actually has hair between their toes (another lint trap). The logical conclusion is that the hair simply keeps the lint from escaping. I bet lint parents always teach their young to stay away from hairy belly buttons. "Button with hair, linties beware" must be plastered all over their elementary schools. Inevitably, those curious young lints go in to check things out and get snared. Ah the follies of youth. Having concluded that the lint is only trapped in hairy buttons, I wonder if those with hairless belly buttons have a constant flux of lint through their navels (i.e., lint is always entering, but just falls back out)? A guy I met in college pointed out another great mystery: lint is almost always blue. If anyone knows the answer to that one, let me know. Until next time, this is Aaron Levie, super sleuth, signing off.