Apr 9, 2008

craigslist losers

Let me start this post by saying I love craigslist. I do have a problem, however, with the people that browse the "free" section and have no shame. I'll explain. Right after we bought our car, I was doing the brakes and needed brake cleaner. So, I hopped on my bike and headed to Checker. On the way home, brake cleaner in hand, I got plowed by a car, bending my rims so badly that I had to carry the bike home. The bike was a piece of junk to begin with. It was my ASU bike. Well, that was November, and the bike has been sitting on our patio ever since. Last night (or rather this morning at 1:05 am... don't judge me) I got sick of seeing it and decided to post it on craigslist.
Being the nice guy that I am, I posted it in the free section. Around 1:20 am, my phone rang. It was some idiot calling at 1:20 am to ask about the bike. I was furious. "Its 1 in the morning. What's wrong with you?" I asked. His reply was "Well you just posted it 10 minutes ago." Although I definitely should not have been awake at such an hour, this in nowise justified calling a complete stranger at 1:00 am. I told him to call back in the morning. A little after 4:00 am, somebody else called and left me a message. When I listened to the message, it was a guy asking for the bike. At that point I'd had it. I realized I was not going to get any sleep unless I turned my phone off. I use my phone as an alarm clock and didn't want to have my life run by these early morning freeloaders. So I hopped on craigslist, deleted my post and hauled my bike to the alley. Problem solved. I got rid of the bike and slept... at least for a bit. I received another call at 6:00 am and another after 7. I'm not Captain Tact, but my advice to those late night browsers is, if you can't wait until morning, just email the guy. My beef is not with people who want free stuff. My problem is with the people who are willing to throw any ounce of respect they may have had for other people out the window to be the first to get the freebie. Well, I'm taking a stand on this one. No bike for you!

Apr 8, 2008

the sonata lives on!

I'd been wanting to find out how the airbags in my wife's corolla worked for some time. So, on a sunny, November day in Queen Creek, I slammed it into the back of a Chevy 2500 pickup. The airbags worked great. Kiri and I were thrilled. Our car, which was insured with liability only, was totaled.

My beautiful spray paint and duct tape-clad civic had been out for the count for a few weeks so I thought I'd take the civic to the shop and ride out our car problems in style. Diagnosis: 3 dead cylinders (more damage than the car was worth). Long story short, we needed a car pronto. We borrowed a car and frantically began the hunt. We found an '02 Sonata and, foolishly believing that Hyundai had mended their crapish ways, plopped down a chunk of money that we didn't have on a fixer-upper. The brakes and CV joints were bad, but otherwise the car appeared to be mechanically sound. After making the necessary repairs (with some serious help from the brother-in-law), I found a dent in the engine compartment indicating the car might have been wrecked. A few small things didn't quite work right on the car so I decided to change some fuses. You can imagine my delight when I crawled up under my steering wheel to find that the airbag idiot light fuse was missing. I pulled another, less important fuse to fill the vacancy and watched the airbag idiot light come on. At this point, I didn't even know if the car had airbags. Quick note: if you ever want to pull a fast one on someone, just pull the "my car is broken" indicator light fuse and watch your car go from piecer to steal. I called a dealer and was told that 9 times out of 10, an airbag error light is caused by a bad connection under one of the front seats (the seats have pressure sensors). I bought a can of electrical connection cleaner from Checker, unbolted my seats and cleaned and reseated every connection under the front seats. Much to my dismay, the stupid airbag light still stayed on. Clutching my empty wallet, I took the car to the dealer. $95 later, I was driving home without the stupid airbag light. Turns out that the car had some 18 history codes. All they needed to do was clear the codes and the airbag system was as good as new. Not only did the dealer's mechanic fix my annoying light (convincing me the car was safe enough to trust my wife and child in), he also did one of those six million point inspections and didn't recommend any service besides changing the air filter. If a dealer can't find another way to juice my wallet, I think I'm sitting pretty good. I stopped by Walmart and picked up an air filter and now have a completely different attitude toward my Hyundai junk heap. It's still completely gutless, gas guzzling piece, but in a safer, I didn't get ripped off so bad sort of way.

Apr 6, 2008

the man skirt

Kiri and I were driving the other day and saw this guy walking down Hardy wearing a kilt. I had to snap a picture quickly, but I was driving, so the best I could do was this picture I took with my phone.

I wonder if the mini-kilt caught on in Scotland when mini-skirts were big in the US?

Apr 4, 2008

another of life's mysteries solved!

Aaron the super sleuth, it has nice ring to it. I have solved the mystery of belly button lint. Kiri often teases me about my belly button lint (She should be jealous because I get it and she doesn't). Why is belly button lint so sexist? Why do men get it and women don't? The way I discovered the answer may be disturbing to some, so stop reading now if you want. I simply shaved my belly button hair and presto! No lint. No lint teasing. I should warn, however, that a shorn belly can provide ample fuel for a volley of snide remarks.

I'm sure the hair doesn't attract the lint, because armpit lint is unheard of and nobody that I know actually has hair between their toes (another lint trap). The logical conclusion is that the hair simply keeps the lint from escaping. I bet lint parents always teach their young to stay away from hairy belly buttons. "Button with hair, linties beware" must be plastered all over their elementary schools. Inevitably, those curious young lints go in to check things out and get snared. Ah the follies of youth. Having concluded that the lint is only trapped in hairy buttons, I wonder if those with hairless belly buttons have a constant flux of lint through their navels (i.e., lint is always entering, but just falls back out)? A guy I met in college pointed out another great mystery: lint is almost always blue. If anyone knows the answer to that one, let me know. Until next time, this is Aaron Levie, super sleuth, signing off.